Leprechauns TMNT
by Mica
Summary: A Short St. Patrick's Day TMNT Story FINISHED


Leprechauns -- A Short St. Patrick's Day TMNT Story

# Leprechauns

  


### A Short Saint Patrick's Day TMNT Story

  


* * *

Authors Note: There is a use of stereotype in this story, and please don't be offended. I just think that if you shoot at a New Yorker, they're gonna say a lot nastier things than Raph says!

  
      Raphael sat watching TV. There was nothing good on, just some reruns and soap operas, but he didn't have anything else to do. Splinter was off on a sabbatical in the mountains somewhere, Leo was reading something in the kitchen and Don was holed up in his lab, as usual. All in all, a normal day.  
      Raph thought briefly about where Mike might be, but couldn't come up with an answer, so he returned his full attention to channel surfing.  
      A little while later, his unconcerned question was answered when Mike popped up with a green plastic top hat on his head.  
      "What the hell you got on yer head?" Raph asked.  
      "It's my hat! Do you know what today is?" Mike said enthusiastically.  
      "Nope." Raph said "Can't say I really care either."  
      "It's St. Paddy's Day!! Oh, da luck o' dee Irish!" Mike said happily with a Celtic accent, ignoring Raph's cynicism.  
      "So? It's just another holiday so humans can get drunk and party. No different than New Years, Christmas, or any of the other ones."  
      "Raph!" Mike said, dropping the accent "it is _not_ like that. It's onna the most funnest holidays! Right up there with Halloween!"  
      "Whatever" Raph said, turning back to the TV.  
      Mike plopped next to him on the couch.  
      "So..." he asked "You coming topside with me tonight?"  
      "No."  
      "Aw, Raph, please!"  
      "No, I am going to sit here and watch TV tonight."  
      "Aw, pleeeaasse."  
      "No."  
      "Plllllleeeeeaaaaasssssseeee."  
      "_No_."  
      "_Pleeeeaaaaaaaassssssseeeeee_."  
      "NO, and that's final!"  
      .....  
  


***

  
      "I still can't believe I let you talk me into this Mikey." Raph grumbled.  
      "Oh, relax Raph, it'll be fun!" Mike answered as he climbed out of the manhole.  
      "Yea, whatever." Raph mumbled to himself as he followed.  
      "So where first, oh 'master of the Patrick's Day night life'?" Raph asked cynically.  
      "Right on the other side of the block! The Parade should be coming by in about a half an hour."  
      "And I missed Jerry Springer for this." Raph grumbled.  
      "Oh, C'mon Raph! We wanna get a good spot to see from!" Mike said, purposely ignoring his brother's foul attitude about the whole thing. "Put this on so you'll blend in better." he held out a green felt hat which Raph eyed warily.  
      "No. I am NOT wearing that." Raph said decisively.  
      "Well, just hold onto it, in case you change your mind." Mike said, deciding not to press the issue.  
      Raph took the hat and put it in the pocket of the green suitcoat that Mike had dug up for the occasion, glad his brother wasn't going to argue with him, at least not about this.  
      The two turtles slipped out of the dark alley they had been hiding in and into the crowd. Raph felt incredibly nervous and exposed being in this crowd without his normal, drab disguise on. Mike was a little skittish as well, but he hid it better.  
      As they neared the front of the crowd, a little girl tugged on her mom's hand and pointed to Mike. "Look mommy! It's a leprechaun!"  
      Mike grinned and got down on one knee, closer to the girl's level. He tipped his hat cordially and donning his best Celtic accent he said "Ay m'lady. How be ye?"  
      The little girl giggled. Raph rolled his eyes.  
      "C'mon Marne," the little girl's mom said "It's just some men in suits, they're probably here for the parade." Then she led the little girl away.  
      "Bye Mr. Leprechaun!" the little girl called back to them, Mike waved.  
      Raph elbowed him with a smirk "C'mon, 'Mr. Leprechaun' let's get going."  
  


***

  
      "You can't tell me that wasn't fun." Mike said to Raph as they sat in an alley talking after the parade.  
      Raph took off the felt hat that Mike had finally persuaded him to wear. He fiddled with the lapel on his green coat. He had to admit, once the parade had gotten started, he forgot about being surly and really started having some fun. Some cute girls had liked Mike's and his "leprechaun costumes" so much that they'd pulled them into the parade and they'd walked with them for a while. Of course, since this _was_ New York City, about a thousand other people thought that was a good idea too. Parades in this town sure got 'interactive'.  
      "So?" Mike asked.  
      "Well, it was okay..." Raph answered reluctantly. After all the fuss he'd put up, he didn't want Mike to think he was going soft.  
      Their conversation was interrupted as two people entered the alley. They were singing something in Spanish, out of tune and slurry. Raph grinned as he realized that they were singing each singing a _different_ song in Spanish.  
      "Two drunkards at 4 o'clock Raph. Evasive maneuvers mon capitont?" Mike whispered with a French accent, smirking at the swaggering fools.  
      Raph's suppressed laugh came out as a snort. The two drunks looked over in their direction. "Who is there? Surrender or die El Villeno!" One of them said in a heavy Spanish accent. Then to both of the turtles surprise and horror he pulled out a semi-automatic handgun and shot three times. The first two shots didn't even come close to them, but the third Raph had to dodge.  
      "We gotta get that gun away from him!" Mike prompted Raph, who was growling and bristling at the guy who had the gun, wanting to jump him and preparing to do so at any second. "Raph, he's drunk, you _can't_ kill him! We have to find a peaceful way to get that gun away from him. Remember, he's drunk, so he doesn't really know what he's doing."  
      Raph muttered some obscenities under his breath, "You know, Mike, for _once_ I'd just like to not have to do the right thing and kill onna 'em."  
      "They are afraid of us! We are the winners!" One of the drunkards said triumphantly.  
      "Maybe you make them dead?" the other one said. They came towards the turtles to check their 'handiwork'.  
      "Holy Frijoles!" one of them exclaimed "Es dos tortugas!"  
      "Naw, they is just da stupid Irish foreigners." the one with the gun replied.  
      "Look who's talking." Raph grumbled "Why don't you go back to your own country you stupid dirty drunken Mexicans."  
      "WE ARE NO MEXICANS!" one of them exclaimed.  
      "We are Spaniards!" The one with the gun added, waving the pistol like a sword "Engaurd!"  
      The gun went off "Aw Shit!" Raph said and both of the turtles hit the ground, covering their heads. To their surprise, there was the sound of glass shattering above them and an unidentified object fell on the one who had the gun's head and knocked him out. Upon closer examination, Mike found that the object was a flower box. Raph quickly snatched the gun from the unconscious man's fingers and used the butt of it to knock the other guy out.  
      "Now where are the police when you need 'em?" Mike said "You'd think they'd have interrupted our 'fun' by now."  
      A siren answered Mike's question. Raph spared a look at his brother, then glanced at the two unconscious men on the ground. He ditched the gun and they took off before the cops got there.  
      "Let's see the cops figure _that_ one out!" Mike told his brother once they got up to the rooftops.  
      "I hope, for both of our sakes, they _don't_."  
  


***

  
      Two dark shadows flew over the rooftops of New York with pristine ease. In a mad race, looking like a pair of oddly shaped shadows, tricks of the eye to casual observers, but in every way _real_.  
      Raphael chased after Mike, enjoying the night air, and starting to feel good that he'd come out with Mike. His eyes flicked forward to catch Mikey doing a cheesy jump, spinning, then landing on the next rooftop.  
      "Perfect Double Axle!" Mike called to him. Raph laughed at his corny brother and leaped across the gap between the buildings, the tails to the green suit coat fluttering out behind him. The coat slowed him down a little and threw off his momentum and he'd thought about ditching it, but he knew Mikey had gone through a lot to get a hold of these and he couldn't risk losing it.  
      "Dork" Raph told his brother, who was walking on his hands. He ran by and held an arm out to tip Mike over then ran to the edge of the building and jumped to the next.  
      Behind him, Mike rolled onto his shell and took off at a breakneck speed to catch up with his brother, not an easy thing to do considering that Raph was clocking along at a pretty high speed too.  
      As Mike caught up with his older brother, Raph disappeared between two buildings, jumping down onto the fire escape and climbing down the steps. Raph was at the bottom by the time Michealangelo peeped down at him. Raph made a face at his brother.  
      Mikey leaped into the space between the two fire escapes and grabbed onto it, he scrambled down the outside of the fire escape with such ease that his brother thought he might be part monkey as well as part turtle.  
      "Told ya I's faster than Greek lighting." Mike said with a smile.  
      "That's _greased_ lightning, ya dweeble."  
      "Yea whatever." Mike said, then he drew his attention to their surroundings "Hey where are we?"  
      "I dunno" Raph took a whiff of the air "Whew! Pee U! Smells like a hog farm!"  
      "We're probably down by the rendering plants." Mike concluded.  
      "probably."  
      Just then Mikey spotted a sign, it was a light up marquee sign that read '_Happy St. Patrick's Day from Skelly's Pub! Free tap beer for all Leprechauns!'_ He pointed to the sign. Raph looked at it then turned back to Mikey "So?" he asked.  
      "You think we should dare?"  
      "I'm in the mood for some brew, you?"  
      Mike nodded.  
      They went to the bar and were surprised by there being no bouncer. "Probably the only pub in town without one." Raph whispered to Mike as they walked in the door.  
      The place had a dark atmosphere, and that suited the turtles just fine. It seemed the less people saw of them, the better.  
      "So what about those free beers?" Mike asked Raph.  
      Raph grinned. He marched up to the bar and authoritarily told the bar tender about the sign outside. The bar tender humored them and told them that he couldn't give a rat's ass and that they could have all the free tap beer they wanted as long as they didn't tell his boss.  
      Raph and Mike each nabbed up a glass and went to look for a table. The place was kinda crowded, but two girls invited them to sit with them in a booth. The girls were awful pretty, a freckled, red-head named Amanda and a blonde named Elizabeth. Maybe it was because they had both been drinking, but the turtle's appearances didn't bother them at all.  
      Elizabeth was playing footsie with Raph and she was sitting close to him with her hand on his thigh, she was telling him that she loooooved his leprechaun costume and how cute he was. Amanda was warming up to Mike too, she wasn't moving much but she had rested her head on his shoulder and was babbling on and on about Ireland, or "The Emerald Isle" as she kept calling it.  
      After a while, Amanda stopped babbling and fell asleep on Mike's shoulder. Mike sighed with the pleasure of having a woman so close to him. About the same time, Raph had drained his beer mug. Elizabeth eagerly went to get him some more.  
      "So," Mike said after she'd left "Having fun?"  
      Raph chuckled low "Lots of it Mike."  
      "Told you going out on St. Pat's Day was fun."  
      "Yea, once we got away from the drunken bastards with guns and the cops."  
      "So, what we gonna tell Leo when we get in? He's gonna be pissed that we ran off without telling him first."  
      "Aw, screw Leo. He can kiss my carapace."  
      Both Mike and Raph laughed. As Elizabeth returned to the booth, Mike smirked as he watched Raph undress her with his eyes. Sure, they were going to be in trouble when they got back to the lair, but hey, it was well worth it.  
  
THE END  
  
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